Las Vegas is Plastic…and that’s OK

I recently had the opportunity to visit Las Vegas. The primary purpose of my visit was to take Mike Shelby’s Tactical Intelligence course but while I was there I did have the opportunity to check out a little bit of Las Vegas in the evening. I would have loved to have extended my stay a few more days to relax and explore but, alas, work obligations had me really needing to be back in the office on Thursday with some anticipation of working through the weekend.

I’ve never been a big ‘relaxation’ vacationer. When I do take vacations, which are admittedly rare, I like to visit places that are a little more off the beaten path and just spend time chatting up the locals — sometimes that means Morocco and sometimes it means Transnistria. The closest I’ve come to a Vegas vacation in my past was probably spending a week on San Antonio’s Riverwalk…which I barely remember for obvious reasons.

So when I got to Vegas a couple of things struck me – first was that as soon as you disembark from the plane you’re hit with slot machines in the air port terminal. Lights and sounds I’ve never seen at any other airport. Second is the crowds – just crowds of people milling about everywhere in the tourist zone. People not walking with any particular destination in mind but instead just checking out everything. Lastly, it’s all just sensory overload – music and lights and motion and people everywhere. It’s Disneyland for adults and fills the senses in the same way that a ride would.

Stripper on Fremont Street
A street performer on Fremont Street. Las Vegas, NV. 2022

The street performers are different than in Nashville. Here we have musicians on every corner. In Vegas, strippers are the street performers. The homeless are also different, ours seem more alcohol, crack and mental illness. Vegas seems to have a lot more heroine-related homeless. The crowds in our tourist zones are different too. Nashville’s full of college kids and bachelorette parties. Vegas seems, surprisingly, a lot more family oriented with a lot of folks in their 30s and 40s. Children on Broadway in Nashville are rare, on the Vegas strip they’re everywhere. It’s an interesting juxtaposition given the reputations of the two towns.

If you’re the curmudgeonly sort, and I am, Vegas can be a off-putting at first. Everything feels sort of “plastic,” that is to say – it feels fake and maybe a little cheap…and it is. You can either decide that’s a deal breaker or you can love it for what it is and embrace it. It took me a few days but I started to love it. You just have to relax, accept it for what it is and enjoy it. Sure it’s not the real Eiffel tower but it’s still pretty damned cool. You just need to switch your travel brain from “I’m going to check out an exotic location” mode to “I’m going to Disneyland” mode and you’ll have a blast.

The Excalibur, Las Vegas, NV. 2022. Las Vegas is Disneyland for adults.
Skull in Chayo restaurant, Las Vegas, NV. 2022

The food in Vegas is great and the portions are fit for a big boy like myself. I did visit some nice restaurants but didn’t hit any of the really famous headliner restaurants like Gordon Ramsey’s places. From the places I did visit, I’d say the food’s good and on par with what you find in any higher end tourist town. The best food I had ended up being off the strip in a Ramen shop in China town. (PS: Las Vegas has a pretty cool China town).

I stayed at the Palace Station which, after fees, ended up costing me around $200 a night. It would have been an acceptable hotel at $100 a night but isn’t what I would consider a resort. It’s off on it’s own which means it’s not walkable to the strip, the crowd there is generally either older or travelling with family so there’s not a lot of socializing and gambling is largely slot machines manned by chain smokers. The pool was small and basically the kind of pool you find at any hotel in the midwest. The Brass Fork has good food though, so that’s a note in it’s favor.

The Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas
The Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas, NV. 2022

Lessons learned

First, I would not have rented a car. Sure, I needed one in this case so I could drive out to the Grand Canyon but otherwise it was an enormous waste of money. If you get a hotel on the strip everything’s within walking distance and if you don’t, Ubers are cheat and ubiquitous. Rental cars are also a liability – paid parking is generally cheap in Vegas so that’s no big deal and free valets are also common. However, there’s a lot of drinking and drivers from different driving cultures all in the same spot. That leads to a lot of fender benders in parking lots. I came out of a parking lot only to discover that someone had bumped my bumper just enough to pop the clips…which would have meant even more charges from the rental company if I didn’t have insurance. Just rely on Uber and you’ll be fine.

Casino in Palace Station
Casino in Palace Station

Second, pick a hotel on the strip. I thought I could save a few bucks by staying at a more affordable hotel off the strip. In this case, the Palace Station. While the Palace was nice, it became pretty clear very quickly that the quality of the resort hotel you select dramatically impacts your experience on the strip in any number of ways. It’s worth spending the extra to stay at someplace that’s on the strip with a nice pool, nice bar and nicer facilities. Think of it as picking a resort more than picking a hotel.

Third, a lot of the hotels will stack hidden “resort fees” on top of the normal price and fees. Make sure you check if they’re charging resort fees before you book your room. It’s not always notated on travel planning websites and can really raise the price on you at the last moment – mine was an addition $40 per night…for a pretty mediocre hotel experience. This really re-enforces the idea that you might as well either spend big and stay at a great hotel or pay close attention and make sure you’re staying at a straight hotel with no surprise resort fees.